What Is Romantasy, Really?
In recent years, a genre fusion known as “romantasy” — the blend of romance and fantasy — has taken the book world by storm. From booktok sensations like A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas to TikTok reels devoted to fantasy love triangles, romantasy is the hot new cultural phenomenon. But beyond the swords, spells, and swoon-worthy lovers lies a deeper conversation: how does this genre impact our mental well-being and shape our real-world relationships?
Let’s explore how romantasy enchants our minds, elevates expectations, and what it means for our emotional health and romantic connections.
Romantasy novels marry the heart-throbbing drama of romance with the immersive escapism of fantasy. Think dragons and desire. Magic and marriage. These stories often revolve around a central romantic plot, but the relationship blossoms amidst fantastical elements: cursed kingdoms, ancient prophecies, or supernatural foes.
Unlike traditional romances, romantasy offers a layered escape. You're not just falling in love — you're saving kingdoms, uncovering dark magic, and learning the fate of the universe rests in your love life.
This duality — the intimate and the epic — is exactly why romantasy resonates so deeply, especially with younger generations craving both emotional intensity and escapist adventure.
There’s no denying the appeal of slipping into a world where love is fated, powerful, and worth waging wars over. Romantasy taps into deep emotional needs — security, passion, connection — in an environment where the stakes are sky-high and the mundane vanishes.
However, when escapism becomes a frequent coping mechanism, it can blur the lines between emotional nourishment and avoidance. Constant immersion in fantasy relationships can lead some readers to:
Escapism is a human need. But when the only fulfilling relationships you experience are with fictional characters, it may be time to reassess how you're processing your emotions.
Romantasy doesn’t just create new worlds — it builds ideals. And these ideals can deeply influence how we perceive love.
Take a common trope: the brooding, immortal love interest who’s emotionally distant until the heroine “fixes” him with her love. While thrilling on the page, this can fuel unrealistic expectations, such as:
This can result in chronic dissatisfaction or even toxic patterns when real relationships don’t measure up to romantasy’s high-drama highs. Readers might chase the emotional rollercoaster rather than build stable, communicative relationships.
It’s important to remember: fantasy characters are designed to fulfill fantasies. Real people come with imperfections, histories, and complications. And that’s okay.
Now for the good news — romantasy isn’t all emotional distortion. In fact, it can be profoundly healing.
Here’s how:
Many romantasy books feature characters who are misunderstood, marginalized, or grappling with trauma — themes that resonate with readers struggling with anxiety, depression, or feelings of isolation. Seeing these characters find love, purpose, and power can validate the reader’s own journey.
Unlike action-centric fantasy or fluff-filled romance, romantasy often tackles intense emotional arcs — grief, betrayal, abandonment, healing. This emotional literacy can help readers develop empathy and even understand their own feelings better.
Exploring themes like dominance, vulnerability, or deep romantic intimacy in fiction can provide a safe outlet for desires or curiosities a person might not feel ready to express in real life. It becomes a sandbox for emotional experimentation.
In this way, romantasy can act like a narrative-based form of therapy — allowing readers to process, project, and explore complex emotional states within a safe, controlled story arc.
So how do romantasy fans carry their fictional ideals into real-life relationships?
The key is conscious consumption. Read for fun, feel deeply, but don’t lose sight of what real love requires: communication, trust, shared values, and patience.
If you or someone you know is deep in the romantasy rabbit hole, here are some healthy practices to keep grounded:
Ask yourself: What am I seeking in this story? What emotions is it fulfilling? Is this helping or hindering my real-world emotional growth?
Reflect on what characters or tropes you’re drawn to. Often, these point to unmet needs or longings in your own life. Use that insight for self-growth or to spark honest conversations in your relationships.
If romantasy starts crowding out social connections, work, or self-care — it’s time to pause. Create “real-world rituals” (calls with friends, journaling, walks) to balance the pull of fictional immersion.
Romantasy can be a great conversation starter in relationships. Use it to explore your values, fantasies, and boundaries in a non-threatening way.
Romantasy has earned its place in the cultural zeitgeist because it taps into something primal — our yearning for love that feels magical, for worlds that are bigger than the one we’re stuck in.
And like any genre, it holds both risk and reward. For mental health professionals and individuals alike, the key lies in approaching romantasy with curiosity, balance, and self-awareness.
In the end, the true magic happens when we can blend the emotional richness of fiction with the honest, imperfect love of the real world.